If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
