I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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