i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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