wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
