Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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