I cannot find my penis.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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