No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
