No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i think my mom watched the whole time
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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