And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
