i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
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You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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