she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
