It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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