I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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