Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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