so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
