Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
