the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
