but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
