you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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