New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
we're so committed to being not committed
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
