i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
