i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
