Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
