Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I have post one night stand depression
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
