If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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