so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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