her vagine was all disorganized.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
