you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize