i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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