just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
