I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I think a kid would responsible me up
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
