First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
