nut hugger
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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