You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
