i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she told me i tasted like america
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
