she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Girls should come with a carfax report
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
