How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We're too hungover to prance.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
