I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
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I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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