3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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