I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize