I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize