thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
