So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
