Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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