Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize