i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
