you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
