This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
