AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
