haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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