Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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