Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
