Having a random hookup so left but love u
My balls are so social today.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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