We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
