I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
