Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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