Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize