i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
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