try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
