I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
