the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck