he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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