I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"