I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
