You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
