Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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